A Facial Naircut

I was having a hard time thinking of what to write for a first blog post until my girlfriend reminded me that I really needed to shave today.  I was too lazy, like usual, and she joking suggested that I just "Nair it". I didn't know what it was, but after she explained it it sounded like a magical cream that simply made my hair go away. I would have normally still said no, but all that I was required to do was sit there while she rubbed that junk on me. Shaving couldn't be any more pleasant and easy, right?

Given that my beard was twice as thick and long as anything that she's ever used Nair for, it made sense to leave the stuff on for twice the suggested maximum time limit.  Here's a play by play of what happened to me.

1 min - "Hey, this stuff smells pretty good. I wish it wasn't cold though"

4 min - "It's starting to not smell as good honey, how long does the bottle say to keep it on for?"

5 min - "6 minutes it says? fuck that, that's for girls. I'm doing 12"

7 min- "This isn't cold anymore, and it smells like my skin is starting to burn"

10 min- " THIS BURNS! IT SMELLS LIKE MY FACE IS MELTING"

12 min- "WIPE IT OFF, WIPE IT OFF! I THINK I'M BLEEDING"

As you can see, things went south realllll quick.  I thought I had to use water to get this shit off, and it turns out you just use a paper tower and the hair comes off with it. It smells awful, leaves your face feeling like it's on fire, misses spots and made me bleed somehow.

All in all, I'll be shaving rather than Nairing for the rest of my life. My face is still burning and red as I'm typing this up, and my trash is full of napkins that are covered in burnt smelling hair.

Cheers guys,

Thanks for reading and keep shaving.